Telling Deeds

Wayback - Cradle Robbing

2012-01-18T13:04:00.000-06:00

In 2000, I went to Italy for 12 days. While there, I got a crush on a boy many years younger. This is me explaining to two former readers of this blog. From August 25, 2004.

For Diva and Trillian, a tale of (almost) unrequited love.

He’sjust adorable. Amused gray eyes, shy smile, large, strong arms andhands, tall enough to look up at, and smart, but oh, way too young. Hecame on slowly, just getting under my skin. It could have been theexotic location, or it could be that he’s just adorable. I found myselflooking for him everywhere, wanting to know exactly where he stood withrelation to me at all times. If I wasn’t looking directly at him, Iused my peripheral vision to search for the black hair, the beard orthe blue baseball cap.

In the cathedrals and in the ruins, Ifound myself standing in the back, away from the guide at the front ofthe crowd, just so I could talk to him and be close to him. He’s soeager to learn, so aware of everything around him, so positive abouteverything. I wonder if I was ever that young, ever that polite, orever that enthusiastic.

I started to admire him in Venice,noticed his build, the maleness of his body and the way he moved. Heheld a beer, a Beck’s, in one hand as he saw me look at him, andmanaged to look sheepish and unapologetic at the same time. On the longride to Florence in the bus, I played games with his cousin in thehopes that I could get his attention and talk to him. It took a while,but it seemed to work. We played card games and Uno, and I taught himhow to play Gin. He proceeded to kick my ass in Gin almost every timethereafter, but I taught him. Maybe some day I’ll get to ask him hisstrategy, how he manages to win at least 3 out of 4 games.

InFlorence, he mentioned going out at night so we decided to go together.We found the open-air bar recommended by the guidebook, and had a fewdrinks while listening to, of all things, a Dixie-land jazz band calledDixie Train. Had to go from Texas to Florence to hear that. He talkedabout music and movies, and was charming and funny. The next night in aFlorentine bar called Be Bop, I was nervous that his leg was touchingmine under the table as we listened to the cover band. I entertainedfantasies about being alone with him, finding the courage to tell himthat I found him attractive, or just jumping him in a dark corner ofthe hotel, but always turned away by the simple fact of age.

Thinkingabout him now makes me smile more than I have in a long time. Twonights in Rome I went to his room instead of going to bed, ostensiblyto play cards and relieve my boredom, but in actuality just to be inhis company for a few hours more.

I do wish to be 21 at thismoment, more than anything I have wanted before. Does it count that Ifeel 21, that my heart pounds when I see that he responded to ane-mail, that at this minute I can’t imagine the rest of my life withoutbeing able to see his face out of the corner of my eye? (Maybe I cancall him, and tell him that I just want to use him for sex. Any21-year-old would go for that, right? I could call him and tell himthat I have a crush on him, and he won’t think that it’s creepy at all.My family would approve, and so would his, especially since his motherliked me. When he moves to Seattle to go to stuntman school, he canjust take me with him. That would work.)

I want the courageand conviction to do something about what I am feeling, or for thefeeling to go away. I keep telling myself that there is no way that hecould like me or be attracted to me. I am too old, overweight, tooannoyingly sarcastic, and too passive to be someone that he could love.

Too many people were in the way in Italy, and also just me,embarrassed for what I feel, afraid of what my friends would think ofme, terrified that he would not feel the same way about me. And yet,telling myself all the horrible things, all the ways in which itwouldn’t work, inventing flaws, I still feel these things for this boy.

Wayback - Long vs. Short Hair

2012-01-11T19:52:00.000-06:00

Another Wayback, this one from the same month as last week, September 2, 2004.

About 18 months ago I cut my hair. Severely. I still have really shorthair now, but my profile photos on the dating sites were old. When Ijoined my current pay site, I used a recent photo and I haven't had anyresponses. Yesterday I changed the photo to an older one with shoulderlength hair to see if that might be why boys aren't a' callin', and Igot 2 "waves" in 12 hours. After none for almost a month.

Iam not ugly, with short or long hair. I have been called "cute" moretimes than I can count, which I hate, by the way. I am not a differentperson with longer hair. I even act the same as I did then, more orless. Why is hair so important to everyone?

When I cut my hair,everyone assumed something was wrong with me. Even a couple of myclosest friends got worried, thinking that it was a symptom of a deepdepression or something. One of them even took me out to lunch to tryto find out what was the matter. Nothing is wrong, I just always wantedto cut my hair and see what it was like. I even made some art about it.

Itwas interesting to hear the responses from the different people. I gotpretty much a gender-standard response. All the girls had to come upand touch my head. They walked around me and looked at it reallyclosely and said, "What did you DO?" All the boys said, "Hunh. You havea really nice-shaped head."

At work everyone assumed that I wasill with something serious, and I hadn't even thought how much some ofmy students would worry or assume something was wrong. To me it wasjust hair, not my identity. Apparently I was looking at this all wrong.

NowI am sure that people assume way too much based on the length of awoman's hair. I must be a lesbian, I must be sick, I must be depressed,there has to be something wrong with me. (Okay, just so I don't gethate mail for this, NO, I don't think that there is anything wrong withbeing a lesbian but that is how many people look at it, unfortunatelyfor lesbians. Except for almost every man who ever lived, but then theonly use they have for lesbians is asking them if they can watch.)

NowI wonder what is the problem with a photo of me with short hair. Do themen assume that I am manly, or in the closet? Do they all have tosubscribe to the feminine stereotype of long, flowing locks? Most ofthem don't qualify in that area. Why should I pull a bait and switchjust to get the opportunity to meet a guy? If I start e-mailingsomeone, should I not tell him that my hair is short until I meet him?Why are boys so dumb?* (Don't answer unless you really want to. Most ofthese are rhetorical.)

*BTW, I am aware that I lapse too often into stereotypes. I apologize, most profusely. I have grown a lot over the past seven years, but didn't want to edit these to make myself seem a better person than I was at the time.

Wayback - An Art Teacher

2012-01-04T11:20:00.000-06:00

This comes from October 6, 2004. There used to be links that now do't work. There is a blog called "Happiness Squared," but it's not the same one from 2004.

Found a blog the other day from links from others. I love to see whatother people read, and almost always check it out to see if I enjoy itas well. I found this one, happiness is. . . when I looked on Metrotronic and I just had to comment on a post. The following was the result.

I'm an art teacher. That still surprises me sometimes. This was not my aspiration, as those of you who have read my "find your bliss" entry know.

WhatI didn't explain in that entry is my total lack of artistic talent. Ididn't have any talent of which to speak. I still don't. I have learnedskills that allow me to draw what I can see, that's all. Talent hadnothing to do with that.

Now, Bear and any others who have everseen my drawings are disagreeing with me right now. But. . .I'm right.Talent is the natural ability to do something, usually without formaltraining. That's not me. Without lots of hard work and learning a newway of thinking, I would not be an art teacher or even much of anartist now. Not that I am denigrating my ability to create realisticrepresentations of things. If anything, I have great confidence in thatskill, because it is a skill. I learned it, and am unlikely to unlearnit.

I try to teach this to my students. "Drawing is a skill."Sometimes your creativity can pair with your skill to reach amazingheights. If you want to be an artist, all you have to do is practice. Itruly believe this. Hopefully it makes me a better teacher, but that Idon't know for certain.

Yes, I believe talent exists. Talent,though, only takes you so far. Drive led me, a non-art person, tobecome an art teacher. If I had relied on talent, I would not be whereI am now, with 650 loving, wonderful and open students willing to takea risk on my say-so. It feels pretty good sometimes to be me.

Wayback - Trevor

2011-12-28T18:35:00.000-06:00

This post is about my little friend Trevor. It originally appeared on September 9, 2004.

Today I was in the hall, delivering some students back to class when Trevor appears and hugs me. He looks up at me with his adorable face and says, "Hi. "

Ihug him back for a bit, and then let him know that I have to go."Trevor honey, there are students in my room and I have to go."
"Okay," he says, "I can come and help you with them."
"Well,not today," I tell him. "We'll have to talk to your teacher and find areally good time for you to come help me. Maybe we can try it whenyou've had a really good day and have been nice to Mrs. Smith." I hughim again and tell him to be good, and that I will see him later.
I turn to go back to my room, and there he is again.
He looks at me and says, "How much do you love me?"
I put my arms around him, look at him, and without hesitation I say, "I love you a lot."
Trevorturns up his face for a kiss, and although this is not something that Inormally do, I kiss my little friend. He smiles at me and goes back tohis class.

P. C. Hodgell

2011-12-26T20:05:00.000-06:00

My absolute favorite book, other than Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy, is called Godstalk* by PC Hodgell. I have no recollection where I got it, but I know that I loaned it to a friend and didn't get it back for at least a year. Mine is a very beat up Berkley edition from 1983. I have no idea how many times I've read it, and I can't believe it's not more well known.

Her world building includes one of the concepts that I remember from tales of Fafhrd and the Gray Mouser by Fritz Leiber, that gods exist because of belief in same, and must have followers to continue. This idea continues most recently in Neil Gaiman's American Gods.

I loved that this book had a female protagonist, a girl with no memory. She comes to a city called Tai-Tastigon and gets taken in by an innkeeper. Then she has adventures around the city, which has various organizations that of course include a thieves guild. Magic exists, and gods and other dimensions too. It's all fascinating stuff.

From Chapter 1, Jame (short for Jamethiel) staggers around the city on its most dangerous night:

Her legs betrayed her, and she went down, too spent to remember her bad arm until she tried to break her fall with it. Pain dazed her, spiraled her senses toward darkness. "Don't go," she heard someone cry. "Don't leave me alone, not again!" Yes, it was her voice, but this time no one answered. For a moment she clung to the image of that empty hallway, the last of her old home that she would ever see. Then it too slipped away.

The cobbles beneath her hand were hard and cold, glazed with ice from the bitter rain that had begun to fall. She lifted her face to it. It seemed to wash away everything - icy street, shuttered windows, even, at last, itself. Jame let them all go. Numbly, like a sleepwalker, she rose and stumbled on, beyond guilt and grief at last, moving blindly forward until the night swallowed all.

*Which isn't in print any more, you have to either buy a used copy or as part of an omnibus (also out of print) or reissue.

Merry Christmas

2011-12-25T11:28:00.000-06:00

February 2010

It's not snowing here, and it almost never does on Christmas. But, it has snowed in DFW in February the last two years in a row, so I posted these as a suitably Christmassy alternative.

Merry Christmas, Happy Holidays, to you and yours, and may you be with those you love for more hours than those you merely tolerate. Here's hoping that you receive warmth, goodwill and love in addition to whatever goodies might be under your tree.*

February, 2011

*Or not, since maybe you don't celebrate Christmas, I don't know. I'm about as religious as my cat (or some suitably atheist person I can't come up with right now) and I still have family time and gifts and crap. I'm not judging.

Sunday Cat

2011-12-25T09:10:00.000-06:00

Calvin on his new favorite pillow, rearranging for more sleep. He doesn't like the flash either.

Frozen Breakfast Smoothie

2011-12-23T10:56:00.000-06:00

1 1/2 c. soymilk

lemon or orange zest

dash salt

4-5 large strawberries, frozen

1/2 c. blueberries, frozen

handful raspberries

1 scoop soy protein

1 banana, frozen

optional:

1 tbsp peanut butter or almond butter

1/2 c. oatmeal

spinach (haven't tried it yet)

Put the soy milk in a large measuring cup. (Mine is a 4 cup Pyrex, and I blend it and then transfer it to my travel mug to drink in the car on the way to work.) Grate the lemon zest in to the soymilk, about four or five times, and add the dash of salt. Add the strawberries, blueberries and raspberries. I add the protein before the banana so that it gets covered by fruit and doesn't stick to the blender. Slice the frozen banana with a very sharp knife (I use a ceramic one) and put it in, then blend. When you freeze the bananas, wait until they have a few dark spots on the outside before peeling them and putting them in a container. The frozen bananas make it extra smooth, and there's no need for ice if all the fruit is frozen. It's sweet enough without adding sugar or other sweeteners.

About two years ago I decided I should do something about my diet. Not to lose weight, though that might be a nice side effect. No, I looked at my food choices and saw a blandness that couldn't be healthy. I generally ate toast with butter for breakfast, a deli meat sandwich with cheese and mayo, no veggies, and chicken and some kind of mashed potatoes or pasta with cheese and tomato sauce for dinner.

I saw Alton Brown do a smoothie show, and went directly to Amazon to buy a hand blender. This model lasted about a year, and then the gears (?) that attached the motor to the blade wore down and stopped catching.

I bought the Kitchen Aid one, which is okay, but I'm not sure that I'm cleaning it well enough because of the way the blade assembly works. It's got a plastic disk over it with a sort of loose attachment, and I know food is getting under there that I can't reach. Can you get salmonella from that? Also the Kitchen Aid doesn't gradually speed up, it immediately hits high speed and splashes unless completely submerged, and sometimes even then.

I'd love a Vitamix, but I finally looked those up and I had no idea you could get a blender for the cost of an iPad. I guess $200 is the limit I'd put on blender prices in my head. I used to buy tiny bags of frozen blueberries and fresh strawberries from the grocery store. Now I buy giant bags of frozen strawberries and blueberries from Costco. For a little variety, I bought the giant tropical fruit mix, which had too many strawberries and not enough pineapple for me.

I thought I might tire of them, but I haven't. There are endless possiblities, and even several websites dedicated to smoothie recipes. One of my other favorites is banana, cherries and 2 tablespoons of sweetened cocoa powder.

Now I just have to figure out a way to eat more vegetables, which can be hard when you only like corn, carrots and sweet potatoes. Kale, broccoli, brussels sprouts, beans, none of them appeal to me.

Wayback - My Little Friend Had a Bad Day

2011-12-21T18:19:00.000-06:00

Back 7 or so years ago when I taught at the elementary school in a different district, we had a troubled, very young student. He had emotional and learning issues, and he and I bonded. Not all of the posts about him have survived The Great Deletion. Anyway, here's something about Trevor (not his real name.) This post is from August 23, 2004.

Last Monday, my first with Trevor, was a hard day for him. He has neverbeen to school before last week. He doesn’t know the rules; he can’t dolots of things, and he strikes out when he doesn’t understand insteadof asking for help. When you don’t know how to ask, you can’t.

Myfirst grade class was writing their names on their work folders. Trevordoesn’t know not to do things with his pencil like poke people, throwit, and give it to someone and then grab it back. In order to help himlearn not to do these things, I took Trevor’s work, his pencil and hisruler away. Trevor’s response was to kick the underside of the tablefor 10 minutes. Okay. I thought that we could start slowly. As I ammaking sure that the other 20 children don’t need me, I am next toTrevor after his tantrum telling him what he needs to do to get hisfolder back. I tell him that if he can wait for three minutes withoutkicking or making noise, then I will give his things back to him. Threeminutes turns out to be way too long. I walk to him to ask him why he’shaving such a hard time. He has his head on the table and his sad faceon. I say, “You can do this Trevor. You can sit quietly. You’re a goodboy.”

Without looking at me he says, “No, I’m a bad boy. Alwaysa bad boy. I can’t be good, because I’m bad.” This almost makes me walkaway and let him do anything he wants, but I must persevere, or hewon’t survive here. I reduce the time to one minute. I tell him towatch my timer and then when it gets to one, he can have his things. Itell him that he is a good boy, I know he can be a good boy and that Ilove him.

He says okay, and away we go. This time it works. Hesits and writes his name, and draws a bit, and then it is time to cleanup and go back to class.
He looks at me and says, “You mean wecan’t stay here? I don’t want to go back to the class. Why can’t I staywith you?” I hug him and say, “No, but you’ll do a good job in yourclass. I’ll walk down there with you.” The class lines up, and we goback to his class. I hug him again, and remind him that he is a goodboy.

Then, last Thursday, his teacher comes to my door almost atthe end of the day. I have my last class, and we will be getting readyto leave in 15 minutes or so. Mrs. Smith opens the door and looks in. Iask what she needs, and she says, “Trevor has been doing such a goodjob today. We had a talk, and I told him that since he wanted to seeyou so badly today, if he behaved he could come see you.”

Wow.She could have knocked me over by looking at me too hard. Nothing likelove at first sight. I say yes, of course, and he comes in and sits anddraws a little in the back of the class. He sits quietly and works, andafter a few minutes I tell him it’s time to go. He shows me his paper,gives me a big smile and a hug, and goes back to first grade.

Today,I see Trevor first thing. He comes into school, sees me and I hug him.I tell him that he’s a good boy, and that he will have a good day.Unfortunately, this turns out to be less than true.

Later, Mrs.Smith’s class comes in and sits down. They continue using rulers. Theother students complete their pictures and then begin to color themwith crayons. Trevor picks up his ruler and starts hitting someoneelse’s ruler with it. He grabs the crayon box and puts it in his lap,four different times. I explain to him that he must share the crayons,but as soon as I move away from the table, it is in his lap again. Itake his folder and ruler and pencil. Trevor tells me he doesn’t care,he doesn’t want it back. He doesn’t like me and he likes to be mean. Hegoes under the table.

I ask the two students at his table to sitsomewhere else, for their own safety. At this point I have no idea whathe will do. While Trevor is under the table, he starts humming tohimself. I think, maybe this is what he does when upset, I’ll let himsit for a minute. I do, but then go to him to get him back in hischair. He seems calm, but then tells me that he is mean. “You watchout, I’ll be mean to you. I’ll call you names, I’ll call you a [brat],I’ll get you,” he says. The other kids hear this and gasp, and I tellthem to ignore him. I tell him that he won’t do any of those things andthen get him in his chair. He gets under the table again after I saythat he will get his things back once he can raise his hand.

Isend a note to the principal. When the student taking the note leaves,Trevor decides that he must follow the student, so I have to then guardthe door so that Trevor may not leave the room. When the principalarrives, she tries to explain to Trevor that he must behave. He ain’tbuying it. She accompanies us back to his class, at which point I leave.

Ifound out today that he's been abandoned by his parents and thrust onthe grandmother, who also doesn't want him. Nothing like the innocenceof childhood, huh?

Tomorrow he’ll probably be asking to see me again. I’ll have to deal with that when it comes.

Three Things

2011-12-20T19:03:00.003-06:00

1. My car wouldn't start the other day, so I took it to the garage and they couldn't get it to 'not start' so they didn't charge me anything.

2. I hate the cold, and it's only 45° outside. It's a good thing I don't still live in upstate NY.

3. My cat loves my fake fur blanket so much, he's been grooming it, and now it's damp, yay.

Go ahead, tell me three things.

Prince of Tides

2011-12-19T22:27:00.000-06:00

Before Prince of Tides, the Movie, there was Prince of Tides by Pat Conroy. The paperback copy that I own makes it look like a romance novel, and I'll post a photo of the back cover soon. I couldn't find one on the internet.

I've read it twice, and been in awe of Conroy's use of language both times. It tells the deeply moving story of one horribly dysfunctional family in South Carolina, and what happens when the sister of the main character tries to take her own life. Her brother travels to New York City to help her recover, and ends up telling his family's story to her psychiatrist.

Chapter 4 begins:
There are no verdicts to childhood, only consequences, and the freight of memory. I speak now of the sun-struck, deeply lived-in days of my past. I am more fabulist than historian, but I will try to give you the insoluble, unedited terror of my youth.

Later, in Chapter 5:
I spent the first few days reviewing the tapes that so chillingly recorded the extent of my sister's breakdown. She spoke in hurt fragments of language. I wrote her screams down on paper, studied them, and each day startled myself with some clear vision of memory I had repressed or forgotten. Each of her phrases, no matter how surreal or bizarre, had a foundation in reality, and each memory led to another and another until my head blazed with small intricate geometries of illumination.

...in the unconscious I began to encounter both wild fruit and vast disciplined vineyards. I tried to censor the superfluous or the commonplace, yet I knew large truths lay hidden in the clovers, sweet grasses and wild mint. As gleaner of my sister's troubled past, I wanted to leave nothing out but wished to find the one rose that might contain the image of the tiger when found blooming on the trellis.

Sunday Cat

2011-12-18T22:51:00.001-06:00

An older photo of Hobbes, about a month after I got him. He and his brother love this windowsill most.

Finished Banana Bread

2011-12-17T18:32:00.000-06:00

Here's the banana bread out of the oven. I made a double batch, and got eight mini loaves for my favored co-workers.

Stanley Tucci

2011-12-17T18:14:00.000-06:00

I'm watching Easy A and thinking, "Wow, Stanley Tucci is hot." I have entered that stage of adulthood where guys who are dads and are over 50 can be hot. Conversely, I no longer find Pierce Brosnan attractive, as he's gotten a little too doughy for me, at least in Bag of Bones. But ohh, Remington Steele? That guy was hot.

And Matt Bomer? So my type, unless rumors are true. Also, I'm not so much consistent in my attraction to men. Huh.

Banana Bread

2011-12-16T14:44:00.000-06:00

White Nut Bread
makes moist, tasty sandwiches for luncheons* and lunch boxes.

3/4 cup sugar
2 tbsp. soft shortening
1 egg
1 1/2 cups milk
3 cups GOLD MEDAL Flour
3 1/2 tsp. baking powder
1 tsp. salt
3/4 cup chopped nuts

Heat oven to 350° (mod.). grease a loaf pan, 9x5x3" or three 20 oz. cans. Mix sugar, shortening and egg thoroughly. Stir in milk. measure flour by dip-level-pour method or by sifting (see p. 6). Blend dry ingredients; stir in. Blend in nuts. Pour into pan or cans. Bake 60 to 70 min., or until toothpick stuck into center comes out clean. (Crack in top of loaf is characteristic.) Cool thoroughly before slicing with a thin, sharp knife.

Banana Nut Bread
Make White Nut Bread (above) —except increase sugar to 1 cup. Use only 3/4 cup milk and add 1 cup mashed bananas.

Again from the 1961 Betty Crocker's New Picture Cook Book, my famous Banana Bread. I've never actually made the White Nut Bread, just sort of the Banana Nut Bread variation on the page below the main recipe. I don't really follow either recipe.

I have no idea why, but I got it into my head that it needed to be a spiced banana bread, so I fiddled with the recipe over a period of about a year. I don't increase the sugar or decrease the milk. I double the butter and cream it with the sugar. Then I add the egg and the spices. After my experiments, I settled on 1 tsp. of cinnamon, 1/2 tsp. of nutmeg and 1/4 tsp. of cloves. I add two or three VERY overripe bananas and incorporate them. Then I blend in the milk, the baking powder and the salt, and lastly the flour. I never put nuts in my bread. I object to nuts in things on general principal, especially walnuts, which I hate, because they taste like sand.

I cook the bread according to the recipe, though I generally have to cook it longer because my oven temp is way off. I can never wait for it to cool so I immediately start to peel the yummy, crunchy crust off the top. It's good right out of the oven, or sliced into pieces and then frozen, microwaved and buttered. When I'm in a baking mood, I make a loaf to take to school for my mid-morning snack.

*From a time when people still used the word "luncheon."

Things Wrong with Me - My Breasts

2011-12-15T20:29:00.000-06:00

Offered without further comment.

Wayback - My Dad

2011-12-14T18:32:00.000-06:00

Today would have been my father's 72nd birthday. Here's something I wrote about him from December 9, 2004 from before The Great Deletion.

My father stands about 5' 9". He's not very tall, but he has width. Ifhe was a smaller object, you might say he had a good heft. Hedefinitely takes up space, and he takes up space so well that peopleimagine him taller. His beard and white hair make him resemble eitherSanta Claus or Kenny Rogers, but he won't respond well to being calledeither.

Hisparents named him Brad, after his father, and he likes people to callhim Brad, not Mr. He says that thing that older people say, you know,"Mr. X is my father. Call me Brad." He and my mom named my brother Bradtoo.

Growing up, my father played games with us. He did physicalthings, like hold us with one hand or let us grab his thumbs and walkup his body and flip over. My father the jungle gym. Later, when I gotolder, he played other games with us.

We had fun, mostly,except at Monopoly. My father insists that we play all games by theexplicit rules, the ones written on or in the box. So, when we playedMonopoly we had to own the three properties to build houses or hotels,we had to pay rent on everything we hit, and woe betide the person whoasked if we could put money in 'Free Parking.' "Free Parking is justFree Parking," he'd say. "It doesn't say, 'Pay me for Parking here.'"

Heand my mother share a passion for information and knowledge, andthey've passed that down to their children. Each of us possessesknowledge about a specific area. Sometimes more than one. Brad mybrother knows comic books, computers and computer games. Chloe, mysister (who just had a baby) knows reality TV, specifically Survivorand American Idol and the telecom business. Jenny knows music, allkinds of music. She knows the artist, the song title and probably allthe lyrics too. I know movies and TV, and a little comics. (I love toastound my students by telling them that I accept all challenges toknowledge of The X-Men. Only failed to answer one question so far.)

Myfather and mother like reference books too, so we grew up with anunabridged dictionary, a giant encyclopedia, atlases and movie and TVshow guides. Any time one of us said, "Mom, what does BLANK mean?" sheor my father would go look it up, even if we didn't want them to.

I'mactually quite worried about my dad. Like I said, he doesn't take careof himself, and he drinks too much. We don't talk about it, except inpassing. We all bug my mom about the smoking, so I wonder why that is?Big Brad won't talk about it.

A while ago, about a year and afew months now, my dad fell down. He hurt his hand and his foot. Helost a nail. You know, black and blue and then fell off? We had to havehelp getting him off the ground outside next to Jenny's pool. For aminute we thought he'd banged his head on the side of the house.

Hegot up, someone drove him home, and then he quit drinking. For a fewmonths. Sort of like Mom quit smoking for a bit after the SECOND heartattack. Dad's drinking again, and I worry. He might fall down again. Hemight have cirrhosis. He might be pickling all his organs.

But, we don't talk about it. Not unless one of us feels especially brave that day.

The One - AKA Hobbes

2011-12-13T20:25:00.002-06:00

Following along with Carmi at Written Inc., here's an entry to his Thematic Photographic. This weeks theme is The One. Because I lack a life outside of school right now you see something that I see everyday, for which the internet has an apparently endless appetite. At least on YouTube anyway.

Three Things

2011-12-13T18:24:00.000-06:00

1. Taco Delite has great tacos, so much so that yesterday I went and bought six so that I could have two for lunch, two for dinner and another two for lunch tomorrow.

2. I've had Dish Network since I bought my house back in 2004, and I think it's about time for a change. They wanted to charge me a fee when their DVR box quit working, and the new one keeps doing weird crap.

3. Both the estimable John Scalzi at Whatever and Patrick Nielsen Hayden at Making Light have recently made "Three Things" posts. I'm in good company.

Go ahead, tell me three things.

Mary Oliver

2011-12-12T17:11:00.000-06:00

I've already posted this about an encounter my sister and I had in an airport with a woman who read us a poem by Mary Oliver. I'm endeavoring to cultivate more appreciation for poetry that doesn't have the words, "um", "baby", and "la, la, la" in it, so I went searching for more Mary Oliver to read since I loved "Wild Geese."

It seems I have a bird theme, which doesn't make much sense because I don't like birds. Here is an excerpt of The Swan:

Did you hear it, fluting and whistling

A shrill dark music - like the rain pelting the trees - like a waterfall

Knifing down the black ledges?

Sunday Cat

2011-12-11T15:46:00.000-06:00

Hobbes plays with his feather toy.

Roast Chicken

2011-12-10T13:43:00.000-06:00

Here's what the chicken looked like when I took it out of the oven. I wish I could find either bigger chickens or smaller turkeys, because I think that a 9 pound chicken would be about the right size.

Chicken with Stuffing

2011-12-09T21:28:00.000-06:00

Bread Stuffing
1 qt. for 4-lb chicken
1/2 cup butter
1/4 cup finely minced onion
4 cups coarse or fine crumbs or cubes
1/2 cup chopped celery (stalks and leaves)
1 tsp. salt
1/4 tsp. pepper
1 tsp. dried sage, thyme or marjoram
poultry seasoning

Melt butter in large heavy skillet. Add onion and cook until yellow, stirring occasionally. Stir in some of bread crumbs. Heat, stirring to prevent excessive browning. Turn into deep bowl. Mix in remaining ingredients lightly. For dry stuffing, add little or no liquid. For moist stuffing, mix in lightly with fork just enough hot water or broth to moisten dry crumbs. Cool and place stuffing in bird when ready to bake.

Every year my parents would get up early (late for them, early for me) on Thanksgiving to make dinner, filling the house with the most wondrous smells. They aimed for 1:00, but it ended up being more like 2:30. They would have us help, of course. Four sous chefs and table setters, Brad, Jenny, Chloe and Kate. Four nibblers of ingredients too. When Big Brad and Mary got hitched, they were given a copy of the Better Crocker Cookbook published in 1961, and they would use the turkey and stuffing recipe from it.

A few years before she died, my mother found a new one at the Half Price Bookstore that didn't cost extra. I found listings on Amazon that wanted over $100 for an "Very Good" condition. I have the old copy with my mother's notes in the margin as she refined the recipe over the years.

My sister Chloe makes Thanksgiving dinner now at her house about 45 minutes away, which means that I don't usually get leftovers. I decided to try making and stuffing a chicken and then I could keep ALL the leftovers (maniacal laugh)!

Mary's notes say to reduce the salt by at least a fourth to 1/2-3/4 tsp., and use 1 tsp. sage and 1 tsp. poultry seasoning. I had to use olive oil due to a recently discovered milk allergy, but it still tastes really good. The chicken that I bought had a really small cavity. I could only get 3 cups of stuffing in with using the body cavity and the neck cavity too. Next time I'll just make my own turkey. It's about the same amount of work but then I get more stuffing and breast meat too.

Things Wrong with Me - My Skin

2011-12-08T11:12:00.000-06:00

Obviously I'm not perfect. Who is, other than those political pundits, brave enough to cast the first stone? But there are so many ways that the world reminds me that there are all kinds of things I need to change and make better. Thinking about this as I got up and showered, I remembered that old commercial, for Dove, I think. No, it was Caress body bar. (Thanks, Google.)

"Shouldn't your skin be softer than anything that goes next to it?" That's a perfectly reasonable request, right? But this has nothing to do with cute kittens, you say. Wrong! Anything that goes next to my skin could be everything, so I have a lot of work to do. My skin needs to be softer than kittens, or a chenille sweater, or baby bunnies, right? That's a goal, that's something to accomplish. I'm gonna go work on that. Right after I go out and buy a pair of these shoes.

Wayback - Because I'm Crazy

2011-12-07T18:36:00.000-06:00

When I vacated and then re-inhabited this blog years ago, I didn't put all of the posts back. I saved a few of them before the Great Deletion and want to put them back out here, either because I think they're interesting or because I'm too lazy to come up with new content. Anyway, here's the first in a series I'm calling Wayback. Here's a post originally made on September 11, 2004.

Every school has a few. Some we call helicopter moms (thwp, thwp,thwp), some we cringe when they come close, some have bright ideas thatthey know we will love but have absolutely no feasability. In ourschool, we have all of the above. Our neighborhood consists ofprimarily upper middle class residents, with a few lowerclass/borderline poverty residents too, so many of the maternal unitsdo not have jobs and little to do but Volunteer At School.

Oneparent the other day had a bright idea for a school-wide project thatshe proposed. Her proposal: each of the elementary grade levels wouldbe assigned a continent and learn about and create projects about it,omitting North America. Her idea: that different cultures more likelyexist on different continents than our own. Now as the world has sevencontinents and our school has six grades, eliminating one of thecontinents makes sense. See if you can figure out why she left out thewrong one.

Other parents frustrate with the "I'm exempt from therules attitude." Again, with many upper middle class residents we get alot of that. "I have money therefore you can't make me follow the rulesif I choose not to."

Our school secretary has to deal with most ofthese, and we have such a chronic tardiness problem that the truancycourt judge in our area has lowered the number of tardies necessary toreceive a referral to truancy court. (I used to count kids for theprincipal after the bell rang last year. One day we had over 100students arrive after 8am. That's about 1/6 of our student population.)

Oneof the most egregious offenders of the "I'm exempt" persuasion had what almost passes for a normal conversation with me yesterday. This man,Mr. Gisbourne, complained incessantly about the early start time of ourschool when his son started kindergarten last year. We start at 8:00am. He kept telling anyone whom he could corner, "But I don't have tobe at work until 9:30!" Should have kept his sperm in his pants then,don't you think?

Mr. Gisbourne also had a problem with our policyregarding where he could drop his child from the car. We have a carpooldriveway, with a great system that (we think) keeps most of thechildren safe. He didn't want to wait in the line, so he would try tosneak into the teacher parking lot. When we started posting a staffmember to keep this lane clear for the school buses, Mr. Gisbourneactually yelled at teachers. "Why can't I drop my kid off in there?It's more convenient for me." His child, not surprisingly, has much thesame attitude.

The conversation that he started occurred in themorning as I was enthusiastically greeting all of the students walkingin the door, most of whom I actually like. "Wow," Mr. Gisbourne said,"You're very cheerful and enthusiastic this morning. Why can't all ofthe people here be that friendly?"
So I replied, "Because I'm crazy."
He did not laugh or anything, although that had been the response I projected onto him.

He said, "Well, it just seems like some of those other people could be more pleasant. Why aren't they as pleasant?"
Isaid, "I don't have to enforce any rules. I'm just the art teacher, soI tell people what to do in my class. The ladies in the office have totell teachers and parents what all the rules are, and nobody wants tofollow them. That might make me cranky too."
Mr. Gisbourne said, "Oh," and turned to say goodbye to his son as little Gisbourne walked to class.

Three Things

2011-12-06T21:04:00.000-06:00

1. These cookies ROCK!

2. I love TV, but I'm so disappointed in it this season. I have deleted Person of Interest, Parenthood, Modern Family, Castle, A Gifted Man, The Secret Circle, Supernatural & Terra Nova season passes.

3. An article about comic books that doesn't use the line, "They're not just for kids!"

Go ahead, tell me three things.

E. E. Cummings

2011-12-05T18:45:00.000-06:00

E. E. Cummings is my favorite poet. I recently bought a poetry book called Poem Crazy. I loaned it to an English teacher friend who still hasn't read it, two months later. It reminded me of a Cummings poem that makes me tear up every time I read it.

love is more thicker than forget

love is more thicker than forget
more thinner than recall
more seldom than a wave is wet
more frequent than to fail

it is most mad and moonly 
and less it shall unbe
than all the sea which only
is deeper than the sea

love is less always than to win 
less never than alive 
less bigger than the least begin 
less littler than forgive

it is most sane and sunly
and more it cannot die
than all the sky which only 
is higher than the sky

Sunday Cat

2011-12-04T13:58:00.000-06:00

I know that sometimes it's Caturday, but I pick Sunday as my cat day. So there.

Finished Chicken Soup

2011-12-03T20:47:00.000-06:00

Here's a photo of the soup that I finished making today. It's really good, and will be even better tomorrow. To the recipe from yesterday I added: 3 large potatoes, 4 large carrots, and 2 celery stalks. Then I added a teaspoon of dried thyme and salt and pepper.

222 Posts

2011-12-02T22:42:00.001-06:00

222 Posts, on the 2nd of December! That's got to mean something right? At least as much as 12-12-12.

CHICKEN SOUP

2011-12-02T21:23:00.000-06:00

CHICKEN SOUP* - In a large pot place 1 ea. 3 1/2-4# chicken, cut-up into 8-10 PCS. Cover chicken pieces with water. Add 1 small onion cut in half, unpeeled, 2 celery ribs cut in eighths, 2 carrots cut in eighths, about 20 whole peppercorns, 4-6 bay leaves, 4-5 sprigs of fresh thyme (or 1 tsp dry thyme). Bring the water to a boil ~~and~~ then ~~love~~ lower the heat and simmer for 3-4 hours. Remove the chicken pieces after 1/2 the simmer time. Cool and remove the meat from the bones. Return the bones to the stock to continue simmering.

After the stock has simmered for 4 hours, remove from the heat and strain through cheesecloth or dish towel.

Dice carrots, onion, celery and potatos, as many as you want and cook in stock at slow boil until tender. Return chicken meat which you have chopped to the soup. Heat through and serve. Salt and pepper to taste.

I'm making chicken soup tonight, and thinking about my dad. He was born in 1939, so would have been 72 in twelve days. I'm really lucky that I got him to write down some of his recipes before he had a stroke in March of 2008, so I have them in his handwriting. I'm also lucky to have had him to teach me a love of food.

He might have considered himself somewhat unsuccessful in that regard considering the long list of foods which I will not eat. When I was twenty or so, I finally decided to stop eating chicken tetrazzini and fish because I didn't really like it. Once a year or so after that, I would have to remind him about the tetrazzini. Not the fish. He never really stopped trying to get me and my sibs to eat different things.

Though he wrote many of his recipes down, he didn't follow them to the letter, which pissed off my mom mightily and she let him know it. She said they never tasted the same twice in a row. He would call her a "mouthy broad," and she would reply, "Shove it, Crowe." She would have been 71 in October.

*In caps not because I'm shouting, but because that's how my dad wrote it.

Sady Doyle

2011-11-30T20:21:00.000-06:00

I heart Sady Doyle. And, I wish I could get every girl at the school I teach to read this article, Fight Like a Girl.

Three Things

2011-11-29T11:13:00.000-06:00

1. I wish Revenge were on Tuesdays instead of Wednesdays.
2. My cat is going to die from chewing on electrical cords.*
3. Project Gutenberg is awesome!

Go ahead, tell me three things.

*Not my actual cat.

Pain, It Sucks

2011-11-28T21:16:00.000-06:00

I'm too old. I feel 75, but I'm not. I understand now a little better when my mom used to bitch about getting older. I've been having back problems for a while, and that doesn't help.

I went to my new GP, because I had to dump my old GP who didn't notice that my dad was yellow. And, who never ever x-rayed a man's lungs who had smoked for over 20 years. But anyway, my GP didn't want to help me. The new one. I had to whine and cajole the nurse over the phone. Then I had flashbacks to a bad relationship. It was ugly.

She didn't want me to make any new appointments, and didn't want to touch me except to prod my kidneys a little. Oh, and the nurse came at me with no warning and rubbed this thing all over my face to take my temperature. When did that become common? So, over the course of two months, I have had the following: x-rays, CT, sonogram (which would have been an internal sonogram if I hadn't refused because of lack of prior bloody notice), HIDA scan and cursory physical exam.

Frustrated and thinking bone problems or cancer, I made an appointment with a rheumatologist. First, it took them half an hour to see me. Frakking doctors. Then, he spent the whole time staring at the computer instead of talking TO me. Then he wanted a urine sample. Fine, I can do that. But it's harder when the toilet paper dispenser has no paper on it and the refills are across the room. So I threw stuff.

When I told the nurse about the toilet paper, she laughed. I was NOT yet far enough from the event to find it funny. The doctor told the computer that I needed a physical exam, and that I needed to take my clothes off, so the nurse handed me that stupid paper garment duo. You know, like at the gyno, the giant shirt with no fasteners and a big old textured napkin for the bottom part. At least it wasn't pink.

Right there I vowed to never put on another paper gown. I probably should have told the doctor that, instead of crying like a little girl. But, before you get all sad for me, you should know that he didn't push it, he let me keep my jeans on and actually physically examined me. For a physical problem.

Turns out I don't have cancer or bone problems, it's muscular. Yay, so relieved. We're still trying to isolate the cause, but I'm going to physical therapy and that's helping a lot. And I'm taking a muscle relaxer at night which puts me OUT for five hours or so.

I just fell asleep writing this post, if that tells you anything. Going to bed now.

About.me

2011-11-27T20:37:00.001-06:00

I now have an About.me page here. It seemed like a fun way of putting my various things all on one page. And by fun, I mean "a way to waste two or three hours picking a photo and resizing it several times and then changing the photoshop filter on it and then messing about with fonts and colors of fonts." As you do. Though I'm not the only one who does this, I swear.

We have a friend who, whenever we play Rock Band, we secretly hope that he doesn't get it in his head to make a new character because that will make it a good forty-five minutes before we can even start picking songs. I'm just saying, there is such a thing as too much choice.

Spy vs. Spy

2011-11-26T17:54:00.000-06:00

I'm looking for a spy camera on Amazon for a project, when I click on this one. It's got several reviews, and one of those catches my eye. According to a comment, this person is a serial reviewer. I'm off now to see the rest.

Mark Reads Books

2011-11-25T13:58:00.001-06:00

I think I saw it on Neil Gaiman's twitter. He tweeted or re-tweeted about someone (named Mark) reading American Gods chapter by chapter and posting his reactions. I have not read the posts on American Gods, but I did read his other series on The Hunger Games and Twilight.

If you only have time to read one or two things, I recommend the Twilight series.* Those are hilarious (only if you don't take the Twilight books seriously), not least because they sum up the plots of those books accurately. Be ready for some oft-repeated phrases like "You are not prepared."

Anyway, I am hooked, and I'm now reading along with The Book Thief. And Mark is right. It makes you "cry ALL OF THE TEARS."

And, speaking of Twilight, if you are not reading The Bloggess, though let's face it most people on the internet are already, you should read this post.

*Not literally one or two things, because you will get sucked in if you start, I'm warning you.

Review of Breaking Dawn

2011-11-23T12:26:00.001-06:00

Comics Alliance's Chris Sims watches Breaking Dawn so you don't have to.

"...because, you know, you always want your necrophilia to be fully sanctioned in the eyes of the Lord."

How I Didn't Go to Comic Con

2011-11-23T11:56:00.000-06:00

We stayed in a nice condo in Mission Beach, on the Bay side.

We went to Sea World and did the Behind the Scenes tour again. I liked our last tour guide much better than this one.

We went downtown to have lunch at Burger Lounge*, but FAILED in our quest for tickets for the Con next summer. Afterwards, we sat in the lounge of the Hyatt and contemplated the feasibility of camping out overnight. But only for about thirty seconds. We decided instead that the Niece will get famous and get us badges to work her table. I did meet Robin Thorsen and Amy Okuda, very briefly. They had to get to a panel. : (

We had dinner at World Famous and watched the sunset at dinner. Which sounds great unless the sun is DIRECTLY in your eyes.

Then we said goodbye to the palm trees on the way to the airport and back to Texas heat and drought. We're still under water restrictions.

*If you go to San Diego and you like cheeseburgers, you MUST go to Burger Lounge. There won't be a place to sit, but you won't care because your mouth will be in heaven.

Three Things

2011-11-22T17:57:00.001-06:00

1. Naps are awesome.
2. Mexican Coke is so much better than high fructose corn syrup Coke.
3. The Book Thief makes me cry.

RIP Anne McCaffrey

2011-11-22T17:53:00.001-06:00

"Now he realized some measure of her indomitable character. She could not have been above ten Turns of age herself when Fax had murdered her family. Yet somehow, so young, she had set herself a goal and managed to survive both brutality and detection long enough to secure the usurper's death. What a Weyrwoman she would be!"

Dragonflight, by Anne McCaffrey

Occupy Movement

2011-11-21T14:16:00.001-06:00

I have been incredibly moved in the past week by two videos.

Non-violent student protesters getting pepper sprayed by police at UC Davis.
Chancellor Linda Katehi walking out of a press conference to the silent stares of UC Davis students.

The Newts of the world don't get it.

School Districts' HR Policies Suck

2011-11-21T14:00:00.000-06:00

One of my co-workers needs an organ transplant. She's been on the list for years, and previous to that time has had to take sick days for her congenital illness. I'm leaving out specifics for privacy.

She told me today that not only does she no longer have sick days, but that though our district has what's called a "Sick Bank" where you can get extra days when other people donate them, she may not use any more because of the arbitrary number allowed in something called a "lifetime benefit."

HR has told her that it creates too much of a "tax problem" if other teachers, friends of hers, were to donate days so that she doesn't get docked. This woman is wearing medical monitoring equipment to school. I don't even know what to say.

I have to do something about this. I'm going to do something about this. I don't know what, but with all the activism in the air, I can't not.

Teachers, Unprofessional Whiners

2011-11-19T18:02:00.000-06:00

So a someone came by to vent about something I wrote in 2005. And I know I shouldn't feed the trolls, but this is for 6thand6, I'm going to take it point by point.

"It is my opinion that teachers are the most unprofessional of all of the professions."

Yep, your opinion and you're entitled to it. You'd be ignorant and wrong, but that never stopped someone on the internet.

More about this, if you're so inclined, after the jump.

"And they seem to me to be the biggest whiners about how they are appreciated, or not."

Fuck you. That wasn't whiny, was it?

"Teachers should be required to report to work at eight o'clock and work to five."

I can't speak for all teachers, but I work 6:30 to 3:30 with students and after school until at least 4:00, with a half hour for lunch. I also have 6 classes during which I am always "on," either lecturing, guiding or facilitating. I don't get coffee breaks or bathroom breaks or smoke breaks or internet breaks AT ALL during time with students. After school I have tutorials, and then some afternoon meetings and evening meetings scheduled so working parents can attend, about twice a week. So, again, fuck you.

"Teachers should be allowed two weeks of vacation per year like the rest of us. Summers off? Only two weeks (but you can choose which two). Christmas break? Spring break? That's for the children isn't it? "

What do you think we do all summer? Eat bonbons on the couch watching Oprah and Ellen? This summer I spent most of my time getting ready for the school year to come. A week at a summer institute, at least two weeks in my classroom getting it organized and planning some future activities, and two other weeks with my peers at school getting the latest information and research on pedagogical efficacy and how to apply it to my subject area. In the winter I take a much needed break from being on stage for most of the day, and to get in some conversation and interaction with adults. As an industrialized and wealthy nation, we should be able to ALL have at least four weeks off a year. Instead you want to bring us down instead of elevating yourself. That's not very logical.

Also, "that's for the children" ? I don't get it. Are you saying they should be off and I shouldn't?

"You as teachers could be planning how to fix subpar students."

I already do. But, do you have some ideas how I could more successfully accomplish this? Because given your logic so far, I'm sure you must have some OUTSTANDING ideas about how I can do my job better. I'm sure that it's just my ladybrain getting in the way.

"You are not respected by the public at large because you haven't earned that respect."

Wow, I've not done my job as well as I can, presented myself in a professional way, treated all manner of idiots politely and respectfully when they belittle me on my own blog (except for occasional lapses) and done everything I can to help my students learn and be polite and respectful people themselves? Saying "you suck just cuz" is not so much a convincing argument. I see that YOU don't respect me or my peers or what we do.

"You are paid better than any educational system in the world, yet you don't deliver the best educated kids come graduation day."

Demonstrably false. According to the Organization for Economic Cooperation and Development, the US ranks below all of these nations in teacher pay: Australia, Netherlands, England, Scotland, Japan, Ireland, Germany, Switzerland, Korea and Luxembourg.

Teachers also get less a percentage of GDP, below all of these nations: France, Austria, Finland, Chile, Denmark, Belgium, Netherlands, Greece, Australia, Ireland, Slovenia, Turkey, Czech Republic, England, Spain, Mexico, Switzerland, New Zealand, Scotland, Japan, Portugal, Germany and Korea.

You are correct about the US not delivering the best educated kids. But as a very eloquent man said the other day in the New York Times, holding me and the other teachers responsible for all of that is like blaming the foot soldiers in the army if the battle doesn't go well. We do a very good job, for the most part, with very little pay, very long hours, administrators with no experience in public education, and, as you stated, no respect because we don't deserve it.

"I've had two kids move through the Montgomery County, MD school system - supposedly one of the best in the world. [I think you mean country. The schools in Finland are considered the best in the world.] During the course of 13 years of schooling for each of my kids, I had to spend thousands upon thousands of dollars on Sylvan Learning Centers, Ashley Tutors, and several private tutors."

I don't know anything about Maryland or Montgomery County. I work in Texas, and our schools rank below the national averages in most respects, and our governor and legislature just cut the budget for schools but signed a contract with Pearson for hundreds of millions of dollars for creating and grading new tests. They don't administer the tests, we do, under penalty of losing our job and our certification if something goes wrong. A school district near me had to lay off 230 teachers because of the budget cuts. But, that does not mean that teachers don't deal with all kinds of issues, and for the most part deal with them well. Especially since all the money goes to tests instead of to teacher pay or supplies that help teachers teach, like technology.

You don't say why you had to spend so much money on tutors. Here are a few questions for you:

Are your children developmentally or emotionally disabled, unmotivated or not very bright? Did you spend your thousands of dollars because your kids couldn't pass their classes or because you wanted them to get into ivy league colleges? Did you consider using the thousands of dollars you spent on private tutors for sending your kids to private school? Apparently you weren't happy with public schools, so why keep them there?

"I feel as if my tax dollars were wasted."

Perhaps your tax dollars were wasted. I don't know. But that's the price we pay for living in a society that believes that everyone deserves a chance to be educated. I believe that they do, and that teachers do a mostly thankless job. And we don't even get lip service any more.

"So, you can grouse all you want and write me off as ignorant, hateful, and bitter (I don't believe I am)."

Grouse, no. I'm not complaining about you, because you're just wrong. Ignorant, yes, you are. You don't have all the facts that you think you do. Bitter, yes. You have proved with your comment that you are bitter. You may not believe that you are, but no one spends however long you spent writing about how you wasted your tax dollars on a system that didn't educate your kids to your satisfaction without being bitter. Perhaps that word does not mean what you think it means?

"But if you were to be evaluated as those are in my line of work you teachers wouldn't measure up."

Bullshit. Were I in your profession, which you don't specify, but if it's in the business world rather than say, brain surgery, I bet that I would measure up. I'm smart, capable, college-educated and a master of logistics, because I have to be. I also don't make assertions about things like monetary compensation without the facts at my disposal. As you did. Would you get away with lying like that at your place of work?

"If each student in your classes are not A students, then you have failed in completing the task assigned to you."

Also bullshit. My job is not to produce a class full of "A" students. If that's what you think teachers should do, you're completely mistaken. Poor teachers can have a class of "A" students, because they don't have the integrity to measure their students with regard to the student's growth. I care very much that I'm making as accurate a measure of learning as possible. Some can learn the material well, and some can't. To pretend otherwise is to live in a fantasy land. My job then is to present material, have students interact with the material and with each other, and to come to conclusions about the material and how it fits into their learning and their lives. I do that to the best of my ability, and more.

You clearly don't care what I do or how I do it, but you're bitter about your own experiences and from what I can tell, want more vacation time than you get. Since you don't think you can get more vacation time, you think everyone else should lose theirs. What a bleak and depressing place to be.

NaNoWriMo

2011-11-14T15:07:00.001-06:00

Am I a writer? I used to think so. I wrote 50,000 (not very good) words for NaNoWriMo in 2004.

I am not working. I am not writing. It's a balmy 80 degrees outside and I sit inside, unable to work on my current project or to come up with an idea for a new one.

I've written approximately 600 words for NaNoWriMo since the 1st of November. I feel like someone looked at me and said that I HAVE to write, and my response to that is the perverse impulse to do the opposite.

I told my father once that I never thought of myself as ambitious. He then proceeded to tell me the story of my efforts to get a teaching degree. The way he told it, I had ambition when it mattered. I wish that I could talk to him, if only to have him remind me of the way he saw me.

Would I be able to push myself to write things were my dad around to encourage me? Maybe. He and my mother seemed to like reading some of my writing.

I am having an extended self-pity party, brought on by my perceived inability to write anything non-derivative. On the project before this one, I found myself copying the opening sequence of another author's story without knowing it. Though being ten years younger, female and a different nationality might have imparted some difference in approach.

If I had any ability to follow through on goals (other than that one time), I might make some. As it is, I just want to not be a teacher until I retire. That's a goal, I guess.

Irony, It Does not Translate

2011-09-10T10:22:00.000-05:00

So, in 2006 I had this idea to post something about how I believed that my mother had been a good mother and taught me to do things for myself. I was reacting to an eight year old boy who ruled his house instead of the adults in it.

Since then, I keep getting comments, almost always from "Anonymous" about how I should be grateful for what I had because their mom really was a selfish bitch or they didn't even have a mom so I should just shut the fuck up.

Except for this person:
"I took your writing for what it was. A bit sarcastic. A bit ironic. A bit humorous. A piece of your childhood and how you developed because of it."

Thank you AnonymousJuly27, for getting it. It made me smile, and also reminded me why I used to blog more, this feeling that I could write things that would connect with people.

In contrast, the next AnonymousAugust18 didn't get my point. Look at the subject and verb choices. They are feeling pain but at first distancing themselves from it.

From "lifelong struggles [of] adult children", "they do better than anyone else out there " to the slightly more personal "many of us have no idea what that is like" and "Denial and dishonest lacking authenticity and we are so done with that bullshit."

It makes me wonder why so many people read what I wrote and feel the need to tell me, and the whole other three people who still read this blog, why my life didn't really suck and theirs did. My life did not suck, and I did not say in the post that it did. I have to agree with AnonymousJuly27, that it is one-upsmanship. Perhaps not consciously, because obviously these people feel real pain and maybe they're trying to work through it or let someone know how truly awful they feel about it.

I have thought about changing the title of the post, and that then the comments about abuse and mistreatment might stop. But I realized today that I don't want to do that, and I will never consider deleting the post or changing the title of it again. "My Mother was a Selfish Bitch" made me feel better, and if it can make other people feel better by being able to comment on my life or their own lives, that's useful, regardless of my original intent for the piece.

Ladybrains, Tee Hee!

2011-09-10T09:09:00.000-05:00

"We are no fan. . . of contemporary commercial YA; but we are not fucking dumb enough to argue that the problem is vagina."

"In the pink floral recesses of our tiny girlbrain, we seem to remember being told once that when a person makes his point using Studies, it is often helpful to use Actual Citations; otherwise he sort of sounds like he is Making Up a Lot of Shit. We would be especially interested to see the Study linking Joanne Rowling's choice of pen name to Biology. But what do we know about science! Tee hee!!!!!!"

I'm so Booooooored!

2011-06-08T10:59:00.000-05:00

That going to Wikipedia and hitting the random article button seems more interesting than anything else I could do right now.

Can you tell that school's out?

Why the Arts Matter

2011-05-28T08:04:00.000-05:00

"In a country built upon innovation, where we pride ourselves on pushing the next wave of global development, why are we so uninterested in creativity? Why don’t we fight tooth and nail to keep the great bastions of our history of our creativity alive and funding and staffed to the hilt? We are so cavalier with culture, so flippant about art and art education, I fear that it will slip through the sieve of time without our noticing its loss till it’s too late."

Testing in Texas

2011-05-15T17:31:00.001-05:00

"Texas paid $90,665,041 to a company called Pearson on standardized student assessment for the 2010-2011 school year alone. The same site reported when the Texas Education Agency renewed its contract with Pearson for 2010-2015 to develop the new STAAR test, it was to the tune of $468,392,617, Duncan said."

I think I might move to Austin and see if I can work for Pearson. I could probably figure out a way to split $90 million dollars. And $468 million is only $93 million per year. Wait, that's an increase. Maybe they forgot to check the Greensheet.

I guess that state acted preemptively to get that figure locked in, right? Good on them for going for the bargain. I bet they brought in their best lawyers to negotiate that contract.

I bring this up because we're doing field testing for the new test at my school. Which is all online. But we don't really have enough computers for it. And, they're kicking me out of my room to put computers in it for testing.

Next year, the new state test will occur in the same two week period as AP testing. So apparently the TEA called the College Board and asked them to change the dates of AP testing. I think I cried when one of the administrators told me that. I would have LOVED to have heard that conversation.

Surprise! There is such a thing as:

2011-05-14T21:51:00.002-05:00

Rabbit showjumping.
You're welcome.

I Am a "greedy, chalk-dusted succubus."

2011-03-12T10:56:00.002-06:00

Jon Stewart has me pegged. I have nothing else to add.

Car Trouble

2011-03-05T10:21:00.000-06:00

Seven am.
Walgreens.
Bought Coke.
Car died.
No phone.
Ask clerk.
Call friend.
Picked up.
School starts.
Tow truck.
School ends.
Ride home.
Money please.

Reading Time

2011-02-25T17:56:00.000-06:00

At the high school where I teach, we have a daily reading time. Research suggests that kids who have the opportunity to read each day will do better in school, on tests, one of those things, I forget. Probably tests, because tests? My life.

I've been reading a book out loud to my students and trying to do voices. I'm not that good at it, but I'm trying. One of them told me the other day that she liked the voices that I did, that it helped her to tell the characters apart.

I got to the end of the book yesterday, the climax of this story, and had only two pages of the book left. So I start reading the two pages, and the lead character has to say goodbye to the people with whom he's lived and the place where he's spent his childhood, and I had a hard time reading the words.

I started to get choked up, and cry a little. My voice would not come out right, no matter how hard I concentrated on not sounding sad. And those kids? Those high school kids that apparently I as a teacher (or so the news says) am failing? Those kids looked at me and didn't laugh. They didn't look uncomfortably away.

They shared with me the names of stories that made them cry, telling me that I wasn't alone. And then they asked me to start reading them another book.

Vampire Diaries

2010-12-15T20:11:00.000-06:00

I find that I can't stop watching Vampire Diaries. And not just because he's so pretty.

It's also got more plot in one episode than many shows have in a whole season. People die, new people come on. It's got a revolving door, except for the core cast. Though, at least two people I thought would last for a while didn't. In a 'omigod did that person really just die?' kind of way. This week UPN is playing the first part of this season, and though I have seen them already and plenty to do, I'm watching a lot of it. I'm a TV junkie. But I also bake.

Captain Trips

2010-12-04T12:58:00.000-06:00

So, I've got Captain Trips. I may be exaggerating. I feel like I'm not exaggerating, because I took two *gasp* days off from school. Not consecutive days, mind you, because that would be madness! And I've already used two boxes of tissues. I called my sister to tell her that I'm dying, and her response was NOT "You're not dying, you just can't think of anything good to do." I'm so disappointed in her for not giving the right response. To be fair, she's kind of sick too.

I've been in bed for the last few days and now I'm looking for stuff to do that doesn't involve watching the idiots on the TV news talk about how much I care about the deficit. Honestly, I could give a crap how much money we owe right now if it means that people who don't have jobs won't get either jobs or unemployment. But the boredom led me to my other email accounts.

I started this blog in June of 2004. That's six and a half years ago. Then I look at the number of posts this year and that's only five. Most of those in January. In the process of looking for something in my email, I went to my stat counter and found that I still get visitors. Most of those visitors go to one of two posts: My Mother was a Selfish Bitch or Teachers Get Paid Too Much. The Teachers post is number two on Bing search. That's where all the traffic originates.

Sometimes I think about deleting it all. That thought passes swiftly. But recently I've been using a site called 750 Words, and it reminds me how I used to write for fun, not because "exams are due and that essay question doesn't capture the essence of what they should know." If you haven't seen it before, 750 Words is based on the idea of Morning Pages, from the book The Artist's Way by Julia Cameron. At the beginning of your day, you are supposed to write three pages of stream of consciousness. Ms. Cameron specifies long hand, but I don't think that's necessary. The amazing thing about 750 Words is that you get all sorts of data from this, and can even create your own metadata. I am completely fascinated.

Here's a screenshot from today:

It's too late to join the challenge for December, but I'm trying it, and I wrote for half of the days in November. I've already got four days in a row for December. It's funny, I like the little badges you get for completing things, and I want more of them. If I complete the challenge for December, I plan to donate some money to the site. If it's not PayPal.

Now I just have to remember that this blog exists. But don't get your hopes up.

Possible Book Titles

2010-03-19T20:28:00.000-05:00

After not finishing National Novel Writing Month (NaNoWriMo) in November and wondering why none of my stories seem to have a sense of humor, I've decided to write some story titles. I saw a title for this book yesterday called "Hollow Chocolate Bunnies of the Apocalypse" and thought it was great and funny, so I tried to come up with some of my own.

Here are a few:
I Was a Fury - My Life as an Avenging Goddess
Teddy Bear Massacre
The Fates Take a Vacation - How to Survive Having No Destiny
Sibyl Uncensored - Teenage Prophet Tells All
Gingerbread Corpses
Pixie Dusted - How a Faerie Princess Got Clean
Cyclops Eyeglasses
How to Adopt a Fury

So far Pixie Dusted is my favorite.

Hiding

2010-01-13T08:28:00.000-06:00

Maybe if I crawl under the covers.
Maybe if I stay off the computer.
Maybe if I don't answer the phone.
Maybe if I don't make any phone calls.
Maybe if I go to sleep.
Maybe if I concentrate hard enough I can go back in time.
Maybe.

Maybe then I won't have to hear the bad news. That will mean it didn't happen, that will mean everything's fine, that will mean I can get in my car and go over to my dad's house and he will be there, reading the newspaper. That will mean he's not in the hospital on a respirator, fighting to stay alive, through pneumonia, through pulmonary emboli, through the cancer.

My Dad is Ill

2010-01-05T21:59:00.000-06:00

So you might know my mom died in June of 2007.

It seems my dad is having some problems too. About a month and a half ago he stopped going to the movies with us every Sunday. Then he wouldn't go to lunch either. He showed us his leg, which had swollen to twice its normal size. We tried to get him to the doctor and he said sure, but didn't make an appointment.

Then about two weeks after that I noticed that he seemed yellow. I told him so and he called me crazy. I asked my siblings to look. Brad said he didn't see it, but Jenny went and saw him the day after that and she said she saw it too. We finally convinced him to go to the doctor after he stopped leaving the house to go grocery shopping and was calling us to bring him food.

Jenny took him to his regular doctor that he's been seeing since his stroke last March. ( I don't remember if I've written about that before. Dad was walking funny and holding his arm weird and told us he'd fallen down in the garage. We thought that maybe he'd cracked a rib. Turns out he'd had a stroke and didn't go to the doctor for almost 10 days after. I spent most of Spring Break taking him to different doctor's appointments.)

Anyway, all the doctor did was give him a diuretic for the swelling in his legs, but nothing about being YELLOW, almost like an Oompa Loompa. When I went to check on him after, he yelled at me for telling him that he needed a second opinion and more tests, but I convinced him to see another doctor. I made an appointment with a geriatric doctor. What I didn't know is that he had stopped moving almost entirely and also wasn't eating. Plus still yellow.

On Friday December 18th, Jenny called me at work to tell me that Dad had called Brad at their house and said, "I think you should take me to the hospital." I got the message during my conference period and called Jenny back, but she didn't have any information. I called Brad, but Jenny answered his cell phone because he'd left it at home. So I called the first hospital I could think of, and they only transferred my call three times before I got someone who could tell me that Yes, my dad had been admitted, but No, they had not done any tests yet.

I stayed at work until the end of the day and left right after and got to the hospital around 3:15. Brad was on his way out to go home and shower, but Jenny and Chloe were in the room with him. The doctors gave him antibiotics and I think some glucose, and said they were going to run some tests. They've done a bunch of tests. He's still in the hospital and they still don't really know what's wrong. Fortunately, they did correct the narrowing in his bile duct that caused the yellow. Unfortunately, they think he has lung cancer, but none of the tests have shown cancer, but they still think that he has cancer. Yay, medicine.

He's down in the rehab wing of the hospital, getting PT and Occupational Therapy too, but he's not eating and he doesn't seem to be interested in much. He won't eat the hospital food because he says it's crap, so we've been buying him things like organic soups and such. He doesn't seem to like that either, but he made some new demands yesterday for chicken, egg and tuna salad sandwiches and fruit. We'll see.

Stay tuned, and tomorrow I'll tell you what happened when Jenny fired Dad's doctor.

Total Dork

2010-01-02T16:20:00.002-06:00

Look what I got for Christmas:

And, it came with the ~~doll~~ I mean action figure below:

My brother rocks. I've been wanting to watch the miniseries over again, but I may have to use it as a reward to get some of my work done that I need to finish by Monday.

Happy New Year 2010

2010-01-01T00:43:00.000-06:00

I suck at resolutions, and I'm not so good at goal setting. I've put together goals of all kinds in the last few years, following very few of them to their conclusion, even if I wrote them down.

But. I have been missing blogging. I miss the people that I met while blogging. Unfortunately, every time I start to compose a post, I re-read it and decide that it's crap. I have no idea where this fear originated, but it's got to go. Fuck that noise. So if I have one non-resolution, one non-goal, it's to start blogging again. I'm not going to make any promises about how often or how long the posts will be, but I'm going to blog again, for me and perhaps my two favorite readers (and honestly better writers than me) because I miss it.

So, Happy 2010 to everyone (both of you), and though posting has been sporadic to say the least, I'm glad that I can say that I've been blogging since 2004 and I don't intend to quit.

Serious Things

2009-08-13T17:03:00.001-05:00

A woman in Raleigh wants to play tennis against men, but the men don't want to be beat. She's suing the city alleging discrimination.

" 'One said he had a jealous wife, and he couldn't play females," Griffin said. "Another said he heard I made people run too much.' "

One of the commenters said, and I'm quoting here:

"Yes, it is a very serious thing to be in the same company as a woman other than your wife, when your wife is not around. Some people choose to avoid that kind of temptation."

There are some scary weird people in the world.

Alas, ComicCon

2009-07-13T19:11:00.000-05:00

I won't be going to ComicCon this year. I'm especially disappointed since I read that one of my favorite authors will be going this year, and he almost never does.

And being in San Diego instead of Texas in July? It sucks that there're no beaches in North Texas. The LOW tomorrow will be 83.

Maybe next year.

Google Voice

2009-07-01T12:00:00.000-05:00

I signed up for an invite for Google Voice a couple of weeks ago, and they sent it to me on June 26th. So far I like it a lot. It's got one number that people can call and that you can make forward to all of your phones. It's got voice mail transcription, which in the only test so far (of mine) worked great.

And apparently you can also put a widget on your blog and people can call you! That should be interesting, to say the least. I'll post more when I've tested it more.

Anniversary

2009-06-30T12:59:00.004-05:00

Mom, 1948.

It's been two years since my mom died, and I still think about her every day. I have a hard time watching shows on TV that show people in hospital beds. It almost always makes me cry. Last week the TNT show The Closer had the main character's cat get sick and die, and that made me cry too. I'm tired of crying already.

Sometimes I almost wish I could believe in heaven. I don't, and I know that when people say that my mom's in a better place that they mean well, but it doesn't make me feel better. I can't convince myself now that she's gone that there is some higher plane. How does that make people feel better? I'm not being snarky, that's a real question.

I've talked to one sister on the phone, and she's at home today so as not to deal with work. I'm trying to call the other one to go see my dad. I want to be there with him, but avoidance is sooo attractive. The bubba's out of town, so I'll try to call him later so as not to get him all sad at work.

I'm so petty. I've got all these jealousies and mean emotions right now too. People suck. Me included.

Education Shortage

2009-03-28T21:49:00.001-05:00

"The arts are not pretty bulletin boards.
They are not turkeys and bunny rabbits.
They are not frivolous entertainment.
The arts are our humanity.
They are the languages of civilization through which we express our fears, our anxieties, our hungers, our struggles, our hopes.
They are systems of meaning that have real and important utility, which is why schools that give students the means and encouragement to explore these realms provide a better education."
Charles Fowler

Over at Pharyngula, PZ Myers tells a frightening story. He's right that our educational foundation is being eroded, and it's happening at the high school and elementary level as well. He's concerned about loss of science education, but I'm concerned about losing arts education.

In the school district where I work, one of our Arts administrators was just cut and must now teach full time. That means no advocate for visual arts, no concerted effort to normalize curriculum, and even less funds for advocacy than before. Many of the districts around are in a hiring freeze. If anyone leaves my school, they will not be replaced unless someone within the district can be found.

In the district where I used to teach, they are cutting HALF of the elementary art teachers so that each teacher at elementary level now has to travel between two schools. That means 1200 students instead of 600, and each student would now receive 1 hour of visual art every two weeks instead of 1 hour every week. That district had only recently allotted each school a whole teacher.

One of Mr. Myers commenters, in rightly being concerned about the loss of science classes, advocates putting arts classes on the chopping block instead.

Commenter ZK says: "What does "Liberal Arts" mean? It sounds like something that could do with cutting, rather than geology. . . [universities] persist in "teaching" stupid subjects that only exist so that thick/lazy/disinterested kids can get a degree. . . " and then calls liberal arts, or to be fair parts of it, "meaningless twaddle."

And commenter Justin says: "Liberal arts? Get rid of some absurd department/course like "Women's studies" or "Urban Studies". Any decent social studies program should include thorough coverage of women and urban people, but to make seperate (sic) degrees out of them is simply bizarre."*

I don't see why this should be an either/or situation. NONE of these things should be cut, and education institutions across the country, colleges and public elementary/high schools are experiencing cuts. And Governor (P)Rick Perry has apparently said that he will reject at least some of the stimulus money in unemployment benefits, so who knows who else he'll throw under the bus. I live in a state filled with idiots, and it makes me sad. **

*Unfortunately the conversation gets derailed by someone named Erasmus who ridicules all the liberal arts and can only see merits in "hard sciences" but doesn't apply the same rigorous attention to detail in his own comments and citations as you might expect from a scientist.

**Not least because the Texas Legislature is still debating about whether or not to include creationism in the science curriculum.

Can you say 'creepy'?

2009-02-11T19:55:00.016-06:00

This is gross. And, no, it's not funny, and yes, I do think that this is something that I should worry about.

In case you can't read it, it says:
"iGirl - She Obeys" and it gets worse from there.
"Less than the price of a cup of coffee or a beer."

I didn't make it up, it's actually on iTunes.

24

2009-01-14T22:16:00.000-06:00

I enjoy Jack Bauer's adventures, and I'm pretty good with suspension of disbelief, but please.

ONE firewall that controls/limits access to ALL of our infrastructure systems?

The clumsiest exposition EVAR.
"Gee, Jack, we both know this information about the current plot, but let me just say it awkwardly for the benefit of the stupid viewer."
"No problem, Chloe. By the way, did you know that I tortured people and I'M NOT SORRY, even though I've said that twice in every episode so far?"

NANO Success

2008-12-25T13:58:00.000-06:00

Turns out not so much success as a good idea and not enough execution. I'll try again next year.

I did get interested in another story from a while ago. It's got a bit more humor than the other, so it might be more fun.

More later.

Test

2008-12-25T13:56:00.000-06:00

Test from iPod Touch.

NaNoWriMo Progress

2008-11-04T16:00:00.002-06:00

It's the fourth day of NaNoWriMo, and I am on track. I'm just about to sit down and start my fourth day's work, and I have about 5200 words. I'm going to try and pass the minimum for today, but I might not because last night I fell asleep on the couch with my laptop in my lap.

The story progresses well thus far, and though I thought it was going to be more about a god stalking a high school girl, it's actually about a particular pantheon asking the girl for a favor. Don't know what the favor is yet since I didn't outline, but it's going well.

A couple of links for you:
Time's 50 Best Inventions of 2008
and
The Best Tech Tools to Get in Shape.

Happy Halloween!

2008-10-31T20:24:00.002-05:00

Happy Halloween!

Some linkage for you:
Awesome/Awful jokes on Making Light,
20 Classic Films in Legos

Sorry it's been more than a month between posts. School's keeping me pretty busy, got four preps this year, which means four different lesson plans to the administrators every Monday, four kinds of grading to do, and four types of assignments to write.

On the plus side, I haven't had many discipline problems except for the Big Bigot and the Little Bigot (more about them later) and I have a student aide who is better at grading than I am. I need to buy that girl lunch or something.

Also, Happy NaNoWriMo! I've decided to try again this year, after my failure of a couple years past. I've actually advertised it people IRL, so that might keep me on task. There's two other teachers at school doing it too, and I'm hoping that we'll be able to support one another. I've never actually had an acquaintance that I could see almost every day do this with me, so I'm pretty excited.

I may or may not post with more frequency in November, though it will probably surpass my October total of 1. See you on the other side!

Large Hadron Collider

2008-09-11T18:49:00.002-05:00

Are we blowed up yet?

She Has a Vagina

2008-09-07T09:48:00.003-05:00

Brittle evil in an attractive Tina Fey package.

Just the ticket to get those Hillary supporters away from Obama. I know that I will only vote for gyno-Americans, regardless of their actual policies.

so . . . tired . . .

2008-08-30T09:45:00.002-05:00

Welcome to all the visitors from Talk About Comics forum. I've been busy at school trying to teach freshmen how to draw or I would have written something earlier.

Thanks to James Kochalka for linking to my blog. It was nice to meet you, and my niece devoured your book in two days. Then she wouldn't let me read it.

So far I've had my students try some Mona Brooks exercises, done blind contour drawing, made them draw with their non-dominant hand, and done an upside-down drawing as recommended in Drawing on the Right Side of the Brain.

On Monday I'll be visiting Chloe and Cletus in HEB and I get to see their 3 year old, and of course baby Mary.

Have a great Labor Day Weekend!

Dr. Horrible meets Bad Horse

2008-08-24T11:38:00.004-05:00

The coolest(?) My Little P onies ever.

Busy

2008-08-22T21:38:00.004-05:00

Posting will be sporadic for at least the next week, as school starts on Monday and I'm nowhere near ready. Wish me luck!

Here's two photos of James Kochalka from the SDCC, drawing his version of Warlock from New Mutants for a friend of his.

Ocean Beach (in San Diego)

2008-08-17T15:08:00.005-05:00

This is the street at the end of the Ocean Beach Pier. It was about 10pm. We stayed at a little B&B on Narragansett Street. Very cute place.
Unfortunately, Ocean Beach is under the takeoff path for the planes at San Diego International. At 6am.

I wanted to try to use my camera in manual mode. It's a Minolta Dimage*, and I've had really good luck with it. Except that the battery cover's about to break, it's a great little camera.

This is my brother and my niece as we walk toward the ocean.

Here I rested the camera on the handrail and pointed it toward Sea World. I love the sky in this one.

Walking back down the pier. I like that all the photos have a different color.

I had the camera strap around my wrist because the ocean was a loong way down, but it was resting on the railing. I accidentally pulled the strap as I pushed the button.

* I bought it in 2003 and I've taken it on all of my trips. It can take some really good shots, and almost all of the photos that I post are from this camera.

Even More Costumes from ComicCon

2008-08-16T20:53:00.008-05:00

Aldrea, my niece took these at the convention.

These Predators look great. I don't remember seeing them at all. It's weird what you notice and what you don't.

I know Xena's a bit blurry, but look at that awesome costume.

I have no idea.
Cool, though.

Link and ? I'm not a giant Zelda fan like Aldrea, so I have no clue as to the identity of the bandaged person.

Love this Zelda costume.

Little Mary (IKYDA)

2008-08-16T20:43:00.003-05:00

My sister had a baby on the day we flew to San Diego. She tried to schedule the birth on Friday, but these things never work out that way.

Here she is. Named after my mom, with I'llKickYourDamnAss as a middle name. Not really, but it would be cool.

For My Siblings

2008-08-13T17:01:00.000-05:00

Hope this makes you laugh:
The Ack Attack

Writing Prompt #01 (v. 2)

2008-08-12T20:03:00.003-05:00

From Writer's Digest:
You're a stand-up comedian having a good night on stage except for one loudmouth in the back of the crowd who keeps heckling you. As your set ends, you storm off stage to confront this person, only to discover it's (fill in the blank). Write this scene.

That sucks. Mine does too, but I'm not a professional.

Describe your car. Use all five senses and some metaphors. Also, give your car a name in the description and make it fit the car.

I'll post mine in the next few days.

Memory Lane

2008-08-10T20:35:00.002-05:00

I was just reading some of the backups I made of this blog afterI decided in a fit of pique to delete it and blog under another name. I was MEAN!

Here's an excerpt:
I go to an afternoon teacher's meeting and don't get back to my desk until after 4pm, and see the message light on my phone. Hoping that it's the doctor's office, I call and listen to the message, but it's the nurse, and this is what she said, "Kate, this is Kristen from Dr. Patel's office. First, I need you to understand that I'm just a temp, I'm another Kristen and I just got here today. I'm trying to help you. I need to talk to you to find out what you need called in. Please do not get upset with me, this is a different Kristen. I need you to return my call at 555-5555. I'll try to help you the best I can."

I tried calling back at a little after 4, and got the following response, "You have reached Dr. Patel's after-hours voicemail. Please leave a message."

So, here's a message to Kristen: Kristen, get the fuck off your ass and do what you're supposed to do. Look at my chart and then the fax that the pharmacy already sent your dumb ass and fax it back with the authorization. Then, take that fax and shove it in your ear to clean out the shit that passes for your brain, and NEVER, EVER, temp in a doctor's office again. Then, have the doctor call me so I can tell them that they have hired a monkey passing for a human, and that not only will I never be going to their office again, but I'm also going to place a full page ad in the Dallas paper telling everyone what my experience was so that no one else pays $180 to be subjected to impersonal treatment and the idiocy and incompetence of the Kristens* of the world.

*If you are a Kristen, work at a doctor's office and are not a moron, please, please tell the rest of them to quit being so stupid.

Also, I've been blogging since July of 2004. I had no idea that I'd been doing this for four years. And mostly in the same place. As I recall (with some help from archived files), I started keeping this blog to do writing exercises and try sticking to my goals and to record my experiences with online dating. Those haven't been a priority for quite some time now, but I think that maybe I'll get back to some of that stuff. I've been spending way too much time with Google Reader and not enough time entertaining myself.

Maybe it's like a little kid with a cardboard box.* I had this a cardboard box, refrigerator-sized as all kids know any decent cardboard box should be, and I put imagination and pieces of myself into it and played. It was whatever I wanted. But now it's not just a cardboard box, it's some fancy toy and I've lost the fun of just having the container. I'd like to get back to that.

Now, as with most things, I am a procrastinator and honestly a bit lazy. If it involves anything more strenuous than using a remote on-button, not for me. We'll all see.

*Not the best metaphor, but it conveys what I feel.

More Costumes from ComicCon

2008-08-02T14:44:00.007-05:00

Old school Cylons. They wouldn't let me take a photo of my niece with them, and went into the exhibit hall right after I asked. I'm sure that it was just a coincidence and they had important business.

Bat-villains. Lots of those, actually, including an awesome Ceasar Romero style Joker with an fabulous purple brocade suit. Who I didn't manage to get with my camera.

Four huddling Indianas, with one Willi and one Marion.

Power Girl posing with my niece, who shall remain anonymous, but was dressed as film X-Man, Rogue.

Costumes from ComicCon

2008-08-02T14:25:00.009-05:00

Many people dressed in costumes. An astonishing range of subjects too. The most numerous, The Joker. Next most, Indiana Jones. Also lots of manga/anime characters.

Here's a few:

I'm guessing some dude from 300, though I've still not seen the movie.

I have no idea, but I'm loving the detail on this costume.

Ash, how we love you.

Is the skirt the correct Wonder Woman bottom? I remember Linda Carter's outfit wasn't a skirt, but almost all of the Wonder Women at the Con wore a skirt.

Love the Phoenix costume, too. I guess the middle one is Alice from Resident Evil? Not sure, but if you know please tell.

San Diego Convention Center

2008-08-02T14:11:00.005-05:00

San Diego Convention Center is 'uge! I took a panorama of it, and here's one of those photos. This is from the first full day, Thursday.

This second image is from the last day of the Con, Sunday, as we waited for the trolley.

One of the days, Saturday, the trolley was so full that we had to ride on the steps at the door, which technically you're not supposed to do.

Sea World Part Two

2008-08-02T13:57:00.005-05:00

On the second day for Sea World, we left the house quite a bit earlier, but we still (sniff) missed the flamingo parade. The first show we saw was Shamu "Believe," which, while slightly cheesy with its inspirational message, still had some good tricks. In the best trick, the trainer rides the Orca's nose while it jumps many feet out of the water, at which point the trainer leaps off and into the water right before the whale does.

They also did a few beaching tricks, and one time they had a small boy feed the whale some fish and scratch it. We sat in the "soak zone" but too far up to get wet, even through the "shamu, shamu" chanting.

After the "Believe" show, we went to see the dolphin show. I kept my camera in my purse, unfortunately, because only my feet got wet and the the dolphins did some really good tricks.

During one of the tricks, a helper from the audience "fell" into the tank and got the dolphins to carry her around. She's a trainer, but it was still pretty funny and I wish I'd gotten photos.

Apologies

2008-08-02T13:55:00.002-05:00

We had a wonderful trip to San Diego, but not much free time, especially after the Con started. I'm sorry for not posting some of the wonderful (and occasionally scary) costumes. Also, I met Joss Whedon.

Sea World Part One

2008-07-23T17:55:00.008-05:00

Did you know that going to Sea World at 1 in the afternoon probably isn't the best plan? And that not only do you pay from $51-80 for a ticket, depending on the options that you choose, but that parking costs an additional $12?

We saw the sea lion show first, and it was okay. A little tamer than I would have liked, but cute. This shot is of Clyde and his trainer goofing off while they're supposed to be marching. I didn't get a photo of the most awesome part of the show. The trainer says she's thirsty, and a trained river otter comes out from backstage walking on it's hind feet and gives her a soft drink.

We decided to get a two-day pass (even though we only planned to go one day) because it included a behind the scenes tour. Only seven people showed up for that tour, so our guide didn't even use her microphone. Her name was Keleigh.* Keleigh took us to see the newest dolphin of the park and her mom. I didn't get a good photo of them, unfortunately. According to our guide, the little dolphin hasn't learned how to stop swimming yet, but she has advance to the turning while swimming phase.

The moray eels here are in a tank covered with an acrylic plate so you can take a photo that looks like you're touching them.

Also, Sea World rescues all kinds of animals. They frequently rehabilitate seals, sea lions, elephant seals, birds like macaws and parrots, dolphins and whales, and also turtles.

This is, I think, a seal. Any of the animals that can be released back into the wild are released. One exception to this is manatees, because they are, according to Keleigh, dumber than a box of rocks. They will get themselves tangled in a net seven days in a row without remembering that they maybe shouldn't go near the stringy thing with holes.

Every day when the park opens, the staff allow some of the flamingos to walk around the park. They call it the Flamingo Parade. Unfortunately we were too late and missed the parade this morning, but we got to see those flamingos in their pen yesterday.

While we were there two or five of the birds started squabbling, hitting each other with their beaks and making really loud noises. Sort of like brothers and sisters.

*Like SanDeE*, no one will ever spell her name right.

More Zoo Photos

2008-07-23T17:46:00.006-05:00

This giraffe family has a relatively new member there in the back. I think our tour guide said he's only a few months old.
They stayed together while we looked at them as another larger giraffe chewed on the metal of their enclosure.

We saw both Timon here and Pumbaa while at the zoo. The warthogs and other pigs were the animals not hiding in caves. Only Timon of his group stayed above ground.

We had already been at the zoo for a while and so didn't go see the apes, but this guy got the closest to the glass of any of the monkeys that we saw. I tried to take a video on my camera but apparently I don't know how to do that. Oh well.

At the Zoo

2008-07-23T10:43:00.003-05:00

We spent five hours at the San Diego Zoo on Monday. It's bloody 'uge! We didn't get there until around noon, so a lot of the animals had already gone through their active period.

Brad and Aldrea and I sat on the top of the double decker bus for a tour of the zoo, and Brad got sunburned. Through his shirt.

Aldrea and I got a tiny bit pink, even more so yesterday at Sea World.

This lynx had some friends in his cage, two of whom did some mutual grooming.

This is the last image that I took at the zoo. The stripes on these zebras were so clean looking, like the painter had just removed his tape.

We're off to Sea World to catch some of the stuff we missed yesterday, so more later.

Animals!

2008-07-21T10:44:00.000-05:00

Going to the zoo! Photos later. That is all.

The Bay

2008-07-20T19:43:00.006-05:00

My niece, who has chosen the name Aldrea for this blog, and I just went down to the water. Here is a photo of the house where we're staying:

Here is a view of the boats in the bay from the living room patio:

When she put her feet in the water to see how cold it is, she startled a ray and it swam a little bit away from her. It took me a long time to see it, and I would have taken a photo but it blended right into the sand. And, then it buried itself so neither of us could see it.

We're having a wonderful leisurely time so far. Though we did go out for a burger and hit two restaurants where we couldn't eat. The first, Sandbar, doesn't admit under 21, and the second, Pacific Beach Bar and Grill, doesn't serve burgers at 12:15, only brunch buffet until 1.

.

So, instead we went to Fatburger.

We're Here!

2008-07-20T13:21:00.002-05:00

We're here in San Diego! It's beautiful, and the weather has been nothing but awesome. We arrived at our rental house and the bay is so peaceful. I think that choosing Mission Bay instead of Mission Beach was the right choice, it's calm and not nearly as loud and raucous as the beach, and it's only a short walk across the street to get to the beach.

I'll try to upload some photos later of both the bay, the beach and the house. I think we're going to go down the street and check out the amusement park called Belmont park. But first, lunch.

Bad Poetry

2008-07-16T21:27:00.003-05:00

Want to read some really bad poetry? Come on, all the cool kids are doing it.
I've only gotten one submission, so I posted one of my poems from creative writing in high school.

Go and laugh, you know you'd love to laugh at a bad poem about fairies. I mean, faeries.
I was so proud of my ability to rhyme, too.

Leaving for San Diego Soon

2008-07-16T20:10:00.005-05:00

We leave for San Diego on Saturday. So far, I don't really know what we'll be doing when not at ComicCon, but probably the zoo, and maybe Seaworld and maybe LegoLand.

I bought some touristy books and one of those awesome pop-out maps. I've bought those for almost every place that I've been. All the overseas ones anyway, except for Nice.

They've posted the entire schedule for the con finally, so if you're interested you can see it here.

I was pretty excited about the autograph area, too, because the first four people listed were:
Katey Sagal
Lindsey Wagner
Richard Hatch
Erik Estrada

Now, last year they had Kelli Moroney, who I would love to meet.

Here's a photo of the view from where we'll be staying:

I'll be trying to blog while we're there, so stay tuned. My brother Brad will be bringing his laptop, so if he's not using it I guess that I will be.

Saturday with Cletus and Chloe

2008-07-06T21:34:00.002-05:00

I hope you had a Happy Fourth! Poor me, no fireworks this year.

Went to Useless* on Saturday to hang out by my sister Chloe's pool. It was DAMN HOT, so I spent a good deal of time on the couch inside, mostly because I didn't feel like swimming.

I forgot to bring a camera, so have no photos from this particular holiday. That kinda sucks, but I'll remember next time.

My sister's about 11 months pregnant with a girl. She's naming the baby after my mom, but with a rather unusual middle name. The baby's name will be Mary "I'll kick your Damn Ass" Smith, (or whatever I decide their last name is this month.)

Next week we'll have a baby shower. I'm in charge of the cake. Have I said that I hate baby showers lately? Wedding/bridal showers too. Not my thing, especially the pastel colors, stupid games and all about the childbirth experiences of each and every woman there. Which, don't get me wrong, I totally respect these women and their lives and their stories, but I'm not sure that I really need to know which of the women I know have had an episiotomy (since I've already heard about it four times.)

*AKA Euless, a suburb of Dallas that's usually grouped with its sister cities Hurst and Bedford in conversation.
As in, "Hey, I was in HEB this weekend visiting relatives."

Thursday's Cat

2008-07-03T20:35:00.008-05:00

Pretty and with a sense of humor. How often does that happen?
Sadly, his brother has no sense of humor. This is why he gets all worked up running around the living room and bites me when I try to pet him.

Sketchblog

2008-07-01T22:08:00.003-05:00

I was looking at blogger's Blogs of Note and from there went to Sketchblog, by Rob Sheridan. He's done a great and irreverent digital painting of cereal mascots, and also a really detailed how-to.

One of the reasons to love this series of tubes.

Same Bunny?

2008-07-01T21:53:00.002-05:00

This might be the same bunny, but now he's in the front yard. The cats were fascinated with him all day, and wouldn't leave the window. The first photo that I tried with my mom's camera (a Nikon D50) had the flash bouncing off the window. That was a great photo. (sarcasm)

The next few I tried different settings but the camera wanted to focus on the leaves of the bush instead of the rabbit. Finally got a few, but only two good enough to post.