Saturday, September 10, 2011

Irony, It Does not Translate

So, in 2006 I had this idea to post something about how I believed that my mother had been a good mother and taught me to do things for myself. I was reacting to an eight year old boy who ruled his house instead of the adults in it.

Since then, I keep getting comments, almost always from "Anonymous" about how I should be grateful for what I had because their mom really was a selfish bitch or they didn't even have a mom so I should just shut the fuck up.

Except for this person:
"I took your writing for what it was. A bit sarcastic. A bit ironic. A bit humorous. A piece of your childhood and how you developed because of it."

Thank you AnonymousJuly27, for getting it. It made me smile, and also reminded me why I used to blog more, this feeling that I could write things that would connect with people.

In contrast, the next AnonymousAugust18 didn't get my point. Look at the subject and verb choices. They are feeling pain but at first distancing themselves from it.

From  "lifelong struggles [of] adult children", "they do better than anyone else out there " to the slightly more personal  "many of us have no idea what that is like" and "Denial and dishonest lacking authenticity and we are so done with that bullshit." 

It makes me wonder why so many people read what I wrote and feel the need to tell me, and the whole other three people who still read this blog, why my life didn't really suck and theirs did. My life did not suck, and I did not say in the post that it did. I have to agree with AnonymousJuly27, that it is one-upsmanship. Perhaps not consciously, because obviously these people feel real pain and maybe they're trying to work through it or let someone know how truly awful they feel about it. 

I have thought about changing the title of the post, and that then the comments about abuse and mistreatment might stop. But I realized today that I don't want to do that, and I will never consider deleting the post or changing the title of it again. "My Mother was a Selfish Bitch" made me feel better, and if it can make other people feel better by being able to comment on my life or their own lives, that's useful, regardless of my original intent for the piece.


Anonymous said...

You're supposed to be a teacher?!?!? Seriously, I'm horrified by your original post. I'm a foster parent and have adopted children that I've fostered. That poor child that you described in that post needed no more than someone to show him the love and attention and support he deserved, just by virtue of his birth. Shame on you.

Kate said...

Supposed to be? No, I am a teacher, and have been for about fifteen years now. But your resume trumps mine.

I showed the child as much love and support as I could in one hour a week. Honestly, if all you read in this was that I really thought he should be tied to a car, I doubt your reading comprehension skills.

His parents, instead of being parents who fostered independence and self esteem, taught him to be hesitant and unsure of his own worth. They taught him to value only possessions and money, and gave him power he shouldn't have had at eight (or however old he was at the time.)